How will we sustain our Hunger Games TEABS until Fall 2013 when Catching Fire is released? With a quiz, naturally, to determine your favorite HG heartthrob. So, gear up, Tributes, and find out who will be your number one weakness in the cornucopia of love.
1. On your first date with your new beau, you end up having one too many strawberry daiquiris and reveal too much about yourself, namely that your first romantic high school experience was with:
A. The boy next door. Your parents were devastated when the two of you broke up. You still see him at family reunions because, as your parents say, he’s bound to be part of this family…eventually.
B. That hot senior guy. Your parents did not approve. At first it was a thrill, but after six months, you still couldn’t tell if he was that into you. After you broke up, he refused to speak to you until the day before you left for college, only to say, “You’re the only one I ever loved.”
C. The lead in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. He took you to the most outrageous parties and was forever surrounded by an entourage of fascinating people. When you pointed him out to your parents, your dad said, “the one with the makeup?”
D. The tattooed line-cook at the pit barbeque where you worked part-time. Because of the age difference, your parents never knew about him. You were together for all the wrong reasons. The only way to quit him was to quit your job. Now, you can’t eat barbeque beans without tasting regret.
2. It’s your second date with your new beau. Instead of meeting you for drinks, he’s picking you up at your house. Once there, you’re surprised to discover that he drives:
A. A Toyota Camry, safe and dependable. He claims the John Mayer CD was in there already when he bought the car, but you don’t believe him.
B. A Jeep Wrangler with no doors. When you ask about a seatbelt, he throws you a rope and says, “Strap yourself in.” His music might be bluegrass, if you could hear above the wind.
C. A silver Mercedes with heated seats. His soundtrack—Madonna, the Immaculate Collection.
D. A Boston Whaler blasting Aerosmith’s Sweet Emotion. He knows all the words.
3. You’ve come down with a cold. L Your new beau drops in to check on you. To make you feel better, he:
A. Cooks you homemade chicken noodle soup which he feeds to you with a toddler spoon to make the experience last longer.
B. Pours you a shot of Jack Daniels and drops a BC tablet into it. When you complain about the taste, he reminds you of all those in the world who’ve got it worse than you.
C. Doesn’t do well with germs, so he wears a face mask, but stays to watch a marathon of America’s Next Top Model.
D. Rubs your feet, then puts up his feet and says, “me next.”
4. You’ve had a rough couple weeks at work and have just met your big deadline. It’s time to relax. Your beaufriend surprises you with:
A. A weekend reservation at the local bed & breakfast because why would you want to leave town when everything you could possibly want is right here?
B. A plastic tarp and some iodine tablets. The two of you will be roughing it in the woods.
C. A plane ticket to meet him in Paris for Fashion Week where he speaks only in French.
D. A road trip to a clothes-optional beach in Florida where he introduces you to his sister, who oddly enough looks a lot like you.
5. Things are getting serious. It’s time to meet his family, including his mother. She can’t help but compare you to his ex. According to her, his last girlfriend:
A. “came from a very good family.”
B. “was a crazy, hot mess.”
C. “was model-gorgeous, but looks don’t matter much these days, do they?”
D. “was a mermaid.”
6. You decide to sleep over at his house. In the middle of the night, the smoke alarm goes off. Fire! As you’re both running for the door, he turns back to grab something. On the lawn you realize it’s:
A. A pastry knife.
B. A shotgun.
C. A value-pack of feather hair extensions.
D. A trident.
7. You and beau are at the beach. A pretty girl walks by and you catch him checking her out. He knows he’s busted and says to you:
A. “Your face is much more beautiful.”
B. “She looks like a lot of work.”
C. “That swimsuit was horrendous.”
D. “If only she had a tail.”
8. The two of you have been spending a lot of time together, so much that you’ve neglected your besties. Girls night in! Your phone rings. When they see his name on your caller ID, they say:
A. “that guy is so obsessed with you.”
B. “If things don’t work out, feel free to send him my way.”
C. “Invite him over!”
D. “Is he the one with the fin fetish?”
9. You got into a fight with a co-worker who is a backstabbing B. To make you feel better, he:
A. Listens to your second-by-second replay, sympathizes with you 100%, then takes you to see The Vow and sneaks in a pint of ice cream, which he ends up finishing because it’s just so unfair!
B. Makes a target with her face on it and lets you shoot his gun.
C. Designs you a new outfit to wear at the next company event.
D. Cooks you seafood paella, dims the lights and puts on Marvin Gaye’s greatest hits.
10. You can’t believe it’s been five weeks already! When he says “I love you,” you:
A. Feel the stirrings of a panic attack.
B. Wonder if it’s because you said it first.
C. Figure it was because you said Versace is uninspiring.
D. Assume he must be trying to get in your pants; it works.
Now for the results…
Mostly A’s: Team Peeta
Like the pocket of bread he’s named for, this sensitive type is not afraid to open up and spill his guts. He will keep your secrets in his doughy center and accept you as you are, so long as you remain faithful and true. But beware his passive aggressive tendencies. They can be murderous.
Mostly B’s: Team Gale
The strong, silent type. You often wonder what he’s thinking, but then he tells you, and you wish he hadn’t. He wants what he wants when he wants it, but you’re okay with that. You like a good project, and you’re confident that given enough time, you will wear down his rough edges. Keep your prescription for happy pills filled; you’re going to need them.
Mostly C’s: Team Cinna
This cosmopolitan trendsetter is confident in many social circles. Not many can pull off gold eyeliner, but he can. He knows all the hot places to go for dining and dancing, and has an open invite to the best parties in town. Your friends will love him. Your mother too. He can tell you if that dress makes you look fat or fabulous, but when it comes to gutting squirrels, you’re on your own.
Mostly D’s: Team Finnick
This is a bad boy of the best kind. You realize that this relationship might not last, but it’s the ride, not the destination, that matters. The only thing that wanders more than his hands, is his eyes, but you know that his heart belongs to you. You can introduce him to your parents, but not your little sister. Like you, she has a sweet tooth.