NEW MOON: the review

Disclaimer: I am not the NEW YORK TIMES.

Jacob’s abs. 

In order to give a proper review of NEW MOON, let me first catch you up on my feelings about TWILIGHT, the movie. I didn’t care for it, not at all. I thought the script was flawed, in that there was very little continuity in the storyline and all the high points were crammed together, so that the tender, heartfelt lines in the story seemed really cheesy and out-of-place. I also thought the leads were overacting and the special effects were awful. The scene in the meadow where Edward is sparkly–I couldn’t get past the over-the-top diamond-bling of his skin. I mean, I know he sparkles,  but come on people!

Jacob’s smile.

So, when NEW MOON opened with another sparkly bit in the meadow, I was like, oh no, not again. But aside from the bad CGI of Edward’s skin, I thought many aspects of NEW MOON were far better than in TWILIGHT, including the acting. Rob and Kristin (Edward and Bella) seemed more comfortable in their skin. Taylor Lautner (Jacob) impressed me from the start (in more ways than one). Also, the director seemed to think more about “moments” and building up the tension naturally, rather than trying to cram everything from the novel into the movie. The cinematography was fantastic (as in the first movie) and some of the scenes, like when Sam jumps off the cliff and the wolf sequences, Victoria fleeing and Bella running through the red-robed tourists in the piazza–all those were breathtaking scenes visually. So big ups to the creative thinking behind those moments. Also, a bigger budget really helps.

Jacob’s lips.

Now, for the story. I thought the storytelling was great, and the soundtrack really helped. The break-up scene got me faklempt, for real and Bella’s breakup funk had just enough angst. The blooming friendship between Bella and Jacob was sweet and endearing and a faithful portrayal of the book. Jacob’s character was so well-formed, in fact, that I found myself in the same dilemma as when I was reading the book–Team Jacob or Team Edward–do I really have to choose?

Jacob’s back.

The Volturi were frightening and eccentric. However, I will say that whoever does the vamps’ makeup needs to go over them with a magnifying glass because on the big screen, you can really see where the powder’s rubbed off. Edward’s chest, on the other hand, was authentically pale. The Volturi fight scene was exciting and Dakota Fanning as Jane, despite her brief air time, made a fearsome impression.

Jacob’s arms.

But most of all, the movie was successful at leaving me torn between the hot-blooded, sweet and steady Jacob and the emo, tormented, endless love Edward. Just like the book! When the movie ended with Edward popping the question and the doe-eyed Bella surprised and speechless, there was a ripple of discontent in the theater and more than a few ladies said “this is bullsh*t” regarding the cliff-hanger ending. But for those of us who’ve read the books, we’ve gotten used to holding out breath for the next installment.

Jacob’s shoulders.

And one more thing, I’d like to give big props to all the dudes who sat through two hours of shirtless werewolves and dreamy, amber-eyed vampires.

Now you know how it feels to be objectified in the movies.

SQUEEEEEEE!

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